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IMPURE THOUGHTS

The Blog of Power, Seduction and War

When it Comes to Dating, You Might Want to Get Out of the Cold

February 24, 2015

by Gamal Hennessy

A recent Match.com survey suggests "warm" or "hot" approaches (initial connections made through mutual friends, interests or online dating) beat "cold" approaches (initial connections made with strangers) by a factor of ten to one.

Singles in America and the Future of Love

“Fisher and her research partner found that 31% of singles met their last first date online, while 25% met through a friend, and 6% met in a bar or club.”
— Krista Tippett: On Being

The moral of the story is if you want a relationship in the 21st Century, you probably need to come in out of the cold.

Have fun.

Gamal

In Sexuality, Society Tags Dating, Seduction, sexual expression, Gamal Hennessy, Nightlife Publishing, romantic love
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The Decline of Romantic Love in the Modern World

February 12, 2015

by Gamal Hennessy

The modern concept of love and romance is closer to a contract than an emotion.

Today, love is a commodity and we are all speculative investors. Consider this:

  • Our depictions, expressions, songs, and concepts about relationships are closer to business terms than seductive language.
  • Dating has been reduced to a process resembling due diligence instead of growing personal connection.
  • Sex is often just an asset available for barter or trade.
  • Attention is a scarce resource.
  • The size and cost of our gifts are seen as more important than the sentiment attached to them.
  • Marriage is a contractual merger or an aggressive acquisition.
  • Certain behavior or personal traits are referred to as “deal breakers” by those in the “market”.
  • Some women choose the features of their wedding rings before they consider a wedding partner.
  • Many people consider the prestige that a person will add to their social status, instead of the joy they bring to living.
  • The appearance of our relationships online are given more focus than the way lovers treat each other from day to day.

I will admit that these concepts might be more rational and more appropriate to the age of personal branding we currently live in. Romantic love may not have a place here. Unconditional love might be foolish; a waste of time and resources better spent making money, binge watching TV or trolling social media to get more followers.

But Love is not rational. Love is not fair. The lover surrenders himself to the loved one, in spite of all hardships, in spite of rejection, and in the face of impossibility.

Today, most people may never feel this type of love. Perhaps they simply won’t know what it is when they encounter it. Or they won’t admit to feeling it out of fear of appearing weak or being hurt. This is tragic for those who miss or reject romantic love, but for the hedonists fortunate enough to meet people who can inspire that unconditional surrender, we have glimpsed both heaven and hell. We have experienced something that makes life worth living.

Summarized from The Double Flame by Octavio Paz

In Sexuality, Society Tags sexual expression, Seduction, Relationships, Gamal Hennessy, romantic love
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The short story of my journey into the writing life.


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